


There's an ache in his chest where his heart used to be

by Birds_of_a_Feather18



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Apologies, Because fuck the canon prison scene, Episode: s03e01-02 Rapunzel's Return, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Varian gets the apology he deserves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:02:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29878782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birds_of_a_Feather18/pseuds/Birds_of_a_Feather18
Summary: Rewrite of the prison scene in Rapunzel's Return
Relationships: Rapunzel & Varian (Disney)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 36





	There's an ache in his chest where his heart used to be

Varian's fucked. 

Truly and wholly, completely and utterly fucked. 

The walls of his cell feel colder then they were a year ago. He shivers against the rough scratched stone but doesn't have the energy to move, head in between his knees in defeat. 

Rustling to his right makes him perk up and then immediately deflate when he remembers just  _ who _ he's stuck with. 

Rapunzel. Great.

It's not that he doesn't want to be friends with Rapunzel - Er... Make up with Rapunzel, (friends means that she'll care for him and he doubts she  _ actually _ cares about anyone but her piece of shit father and her lying fiancé.) he does, he just doesn't know  _ how to _ . He pulls his bandana over his nose and closes his eyes with a sigh.

"You know..." A voice comes from the other cot and he opens his eyes a tad to peek at the princess through his eyelashes. "Standing up to Andrew just now? That was really brave."

Varian scoffs and lowers his eyes. He lets a beat of silence float between them before he replies, he might be a criminal but he isn't a  _ rude  _ one. 

"But it failed. Just like everything else I've ever done." Varian's hands scrub over his face and tangle in his curly mop of overgrown hair. "My dad has always had to clean up my messes and he's not here to clean up this one. He definitely wouldn't be proud of me now."

"Your father would be proud of you for standing up for what's right, wouldn't he?" Rapunzel asks, trying to comfort the poor boy beside her. It backfires.

There's an empty hollow ache in his chest where a heart used to be and it hurts too much to let the anger that sleeps there simmer like it has for the last 13 months. It flares like a stoked fire and anger licks up his throat, bubbling into an ingrate rage, spurring him into movement. 

Varian whirls around to face her, the bandanna falling to his neck with the movement. His lips curl into a snarl, the scar dripping from his lip and curling under his chin bending with the angered expression. His shoes click angrily against the cobblestone floor as he stands. 

_ " _ **_You_ ** _ don't get to talk about what he would  _ **_want_ ** _." _ He growls.

The abrupt change in demeanor makes Rapunzel startle, recoiling away from the expression a little; flashes of Gothel splatter across the back of her eyelids. The rancid urge to quiet down and whimper out a "sorry mother" curls at the back of her throat for a moment. A fear-filled, placating apology isn't the response this situation needs. 

It isn't the response Varian  _ deserves _ .

And it's time Varian gets what he deserves.

"I don't." She starts slowly. " _ But _ I need to talk about what happened."

The alchemist blinks and his face turns cautious but no less angry. 

"I let you get hurt.  _ I  _ hurt you. During the blizzard and the months after. My father hurt you. My people hurt you... I wasn't there to protect and support you. You went to massive lengths to get me to fulfill my promise and I didn't. I am so sorry for that, Varian. I am. My broken promise led to... " She gestures vaguely around them as her throat constricts, the faint scratches of equations on the wall on Varian’s left telling her just  _ who’s  _ cell this is. The thought of Varian spending almost a year in here makes her shudder.

" _ This _ . I broke my promise because-- because I was  _ scared _ . I froze up during the storm and I just followed along with Nigel because I thought he knew better. I should have gone with my heart and helped you. If not during the storm, then after. I should have challenged my father and went to see Old Corona for myself. I shouldn't have let you be sent to prison. None of what you went through should have happened to you." She swings her legs off the cot and pads over to Varian softly, cautiously taking his hands and squeezing them. Varian, honest to the Sun, looks like he's about to pass out, eyes wide and lips parted in an 'o' shape. 

"My fear didn't give me the right to treat you like I did. I will forever regret leaving you alone, driving you to those lengths to get help and I pr- I  _ won't _ let it happen again. I'm sorry, Varian."

The teen takes a step away from Rapunzel, overwhelmed with the information he'd given up on hearing after so long. The back of his knee knocks into the cot and his legs buckle, weak and exhausted with the shock and emotional turmoil he's been through today. The ache is back but the anger has dissapeared and left him hollow and colder than he's ever known. 

"I-" He starts. Words bubble up his throat and tumble over themselves, getting stuck there as his mind blanks on how to proceed. What does he start with? His own apology? Telling Rapunzel he forgives her?

_ Does he even forgive Rapunzel? _

That thought makes him blinks slowly, his eyes raising to look at the frazzled Princess in front of him, holding his hands and pleading for a response. 

This woman is everything he despises. She was his first friend; his first  _ enemy _ ; the woman he tried to kill and who tried to kill him in return; the victim of his anger; the catalyst of his suffering; the face of the trauma constantly boiling under his skin and the ache in his chest. 

He swallows and slumps, the anger from before ebbs as quickly as it surged making him feel drained. He pulls his hands away so he can pick at loose threads on his gloves.

"I don't know if I can forgive you." He admits quietly. From his view of his hands in his lap, he sees the princess' skirts pool around her as she sits on the floor, waiting...  _ Listening _ . The very thought is hard to wrap his head around.

"I-I mean I'm still-- I'm still angry at you. I suffered for so long and I don't know how I can just  _ forget _ that." He hears Rapunzel take in a breath to speak but after a long moment of silence where she doesn't speak, Varian thinks she decided against the action. "But I am...  _ so-" _ (His voice cracks with a thick emotion he's tired of trying to name.) "- _ tired _ of being angry. I want to forgive you... But I don't know if I can just yet. I am sorry though. I'm sorry for kidnapping your mother, drugging the castle, lying to you and tricking you into stealing the flower. Trying to--  _ kill _ you and Cassandra. I was just so... Hurt. I lashed out and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Rapunzel smiles comfortingly when Varian raises his watery eyes to meet hers. She sets a hand on his knee slow enough for him to move out the way if he doesn't want it. He tenses under her hand but doesn't otherwise react negatively.

"Varian, nobody is  _ obligated _ to forgive someone. It's a conscious choice to see someone and want to let go of your feelings towards them, to want more from them. Forgiveness isn't forgetting, either. You can forgive someone and still remember what they did to you. You were wronged in the worst ways by everyone and you have the right to hold a grudge."

He nods mutely and she squeezes his knee as she gives him a few moments to process the information he's been given before dropping this on him. 

"And Varian?" She takes his hands again and squeezes as she whispers, " _ I _ forgive you."

There's still an ache in his chest where his heart should be but there's something new flickering faintly with a dull hope. 


End file.
